I came across this video on Twitter this morning...a compilation of dancers around the world performing during the "time of corona"...excellent work..credits Directed & edited by Angela El-Zeind Music: Garcia Counterpoint, by Bryce Dessner. With thanks to Beggars Group March-June 2020

The shape of these burrs I photographed on my walk this morning, the prickly specimens I saw through the lens.. I thought, amazing! Just look at those! The ideal shape for seed to be carried perhaps dropped from the host to the ground where it will take root and create another plant. Nature's creativity and brilliance in action, an adaptation fashioned by the ultimate design thinker. The simple but not so simple burr. A life giving shape in this case. But then, I couldn't help but think, when I looked at the image of the burrs later, and here I go again, this shape reminds me a little of the virus with its spikes and crown characteristics, but instead a disease chose a similar ingenious shape for its contagious and destructive mission. Although not exactly considered life or "alive"...it, as in the virus, must have life, human life, as its host sabotaging the health of its victim. In some cases a life taking process..the very opposite quest as sought by the simple burr. I was once told, by an honest but slightly frustrated friend, "Cheryl, you think too much."
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He was right. At times I do. That can be a good thing, but sometimes a rest from my not always constructive overthinking might be healthy and worthwhile.   But then again considering  Richard Dawkins who in his book, "The Blind Watchmaker" pointed out the natural urge to think and associate and referred to the human mind as  "the inveterate analogizer"it could be my own urge to create links and associations has evolved quite naturally..one thing relating to the other a few thoughts or found metaphors picked up in the woods sticking and carrying the seeds of an idea that might eventually have the opportunity to bloom in some other garden.
A family of geese crossed carefully in front of us as we were walking down the path, we stopped, I took a few shots. The hikers coming the other way quietly kept their distance and we all watched smiling as the geese carefully made their way from one pond and into the other. Passages across. Interesting. I must think more about that.

An overcast and grey day, wind and rain makes it more difficult to get out and walk the trails but robin wakes early, turns its back to the wind, gathers into itself for a time, then turns out again ...eyeing its next destination.  Perhaps another branch or a quest for worms.     For robin in the rain the grey clouds are of no concern... it's the best of days.   

2 points of view

Overcast, grey
wind and rain
more difficult to get out
to walk the trail.
Robin wakes early,
back to the wind,
gathers itself
turns out again ...
grey clouds no concern...
for grey
wind a little rain
bring all a robin needs in May
life!
the quest!
to find the richest darkest earth
to see and listen close and feel for the worm
bring him just a little rain,
bring him overcast and grey
the very best of worming days.
cm  may 20

Someone close to me was crying yesterday afternoon  
​crying into the phone, telling me she was afraid that this would go on forever, afraid that we might never be relaxed about being close again or ever be able to visit one another in comfort, normally, like we used to do.  "It's hopeless," she said.  "I'm going back to bed."
  I tried to suggest she might want to get some air. 
"Try getting out on your little patio. You have to get outside a bit.  If you could just get a little sun." 
"Well, no," she said.  "Not today."
Then I tried the worse case scenario approach.  "Just imagine if it was a war and if we all had to stay indoors all the time to avoid nuclear fallout, and if we didn't know when the war was going to end, and if we had already lost friends or family in that war. Right now we can still go outside.  We are all well and so lucky." 
"No sorry," she said.  "I'm going to bed.  Again. "
It may have been a weak strategy, to try to uplift the spirit with disaster comparisons but I couldn't think of much else at the moment to say that might help.   It could be worse stories sometimes work and help us feel a little more fortunate for what we do have.  But what we are going through although not a nuclear war, is confusing, depressing and uncomfortable.  In truth I could understand why my dear someone close felt like going to bed.  Again. It is very hard not know when or how this will all end and wondering when we will be able to come together without fear.   So many questions that still can't be answered..the truth is we just don't know.

These days sometimes there are tears (and there were quite a few yesterday afternoon).  Maybe the best one can do to really be in touch again with someone close  is to  be attentive to difficult feelings and  to listen.  I don't always succeed when I try to offer what I can, and I don't always feel up and encouraging about what we are facing, not at all..it's horrible not to be able to touch, to love without fear and anxiety.   If I let my mind run and  I think too far and too long there can be fears about the future  and when it all feels impossible and  I am lost and when there is nowhere else I can run and I feel nearly defeated,  I turn and go outside.  Again.  
"Resilience" can always be found in the field.  
photo: "resilience"

​ going through some photos today from past years, it seems most things today I see or do are somehow experienced through the lens of the pandemic,
I am not a photographer in the professional sense but I like, very much, the creative process of discovering interesting subjects, sometimes exotic worlds, while taking pictures.   I especially like to take photos that seem to evoke images of the liminal or transitional space which might well describe some of the feelings experienced now, when great change and challenge is underway in the tensions of the  here and now and the unknown realities of the not yet there.  Looking through the photos they resonate particularly now as change is the constant state of things living day to day  through this pandemic. 
  I have featured above a few of my liminal space photos that reflect that  transitional space in some way. 
The first shot "The Phoenix" was a photo I took several years back of a white goose feather floating on a pond, the image of the phoenix on a branch came to mind as I looked at the photo later and saw the surprisingly close resemblance to the mythical and hopeful bird that rises from the ashes.    The middle photo of the figure standing alone in the "blue bubble"...was also taken a while back and came about because I was standing in a junkyard and was  attracted to an iridescent ball on a pole, an old discarded garden decoration shining in the sunlight.   I had an idea.  I took the ball home, set it up on the lawn then took the photo of my own figure as it was reflected up through the ball and cropped the shot for the image.  The "blue bubble" shot also seems to have some significance now because there is a feeling of aloneness at some level, perhaps even isolation and yet the colours are uplifting and energetic..I can see trees and some kind of signpost for direction. The last shot of fallen leaves, under water in light could suggest hope and light even when experiencing loss and profound change.   
What I also enjoy about finding such liminal spaces in an image is they allow  space & room for projecting ones emotions, feelings and current mind states through the picture...a way to use an image (a photo you have taken)  to raise awareness and self reflect.

​Walked along the river in Kilworth today exploring the idea of flow in nature..came across many birds as well...  The sound of the water at the river flowing over rocks was gentle and soothing.  Experiencing flow in nature makes me feel energized, free and hopeful.  I will stay on this subject a while and, on my next walk,  search for more of this...there is so much more there yet to see.

No major arts announcements today...just thinking about family..and how to work within social distance to create a small, first step  opportunity to be together...

It was mother's day on Sunday and although we weren't able to have our family gathering outside as planned we all agreed we would aim for another mother's day, a week later and have a small gathering when the weather was warmer. 



Kind of disappointing today.  Can't remember ever having weather like this. Almost middle of May and it snowed this morning.  An actual accumulation of white on the patio table and chairs. Snow on the tulips too.  I rescued some droopy snow covered flowers and brought them in the house.  Months in social isolation and snowing in May was a little hard to take even in Canada.  But, end of the week,  it is predicted to be around 17 degrees celsius.  It will be beautiful outside  for Sunday.  That's good.  Especially because we know to do this right it has to be warm enough to stay, I mean stay, outside in our chairs.  Using the indoor facilities won't be an option.   But still small step, by small step we are venturing forward toward this first little family gathering.    Our plan will be for the max. of  five of us to sit in lawn chairs in the backyard  on the grass socially distanced with 6 ft. between our chairs.  There will be cake, pre-cut before people arrive and disposal plates that we will carefully bag and remove right after we eat.   There will be several helpings of hand sanitizer for everyone.  We will be very mindful  not to get too close to one another at any time and we fully understand why this is necessary and important.   We are doing what we can but must remember we are not doing our usual all of us around the table, full out, mother's day brunch complete with hugs and kisses.    We are living through a pandemic.    I couldn't be happier about our upcoming socially distanced, no more than five people, outside on the grass in the fresh air, no one entering the house,  family gathering coming up this Sunday.    Besides, this afternoon the snow melted from the chairs and the patio table.   The tulips in the glass look a little brighter.    I know winter is out of here for good.  Sunday is coming soon and so is family.  It may be different and a little awkward but the precautions are minor when it means everything just to see my children and my mother if only for a short time and under strange circumstances in the backyard on a warm and sunny one week postponed  mother's day afternoon.  Love Cheryl.

Can We Still Walk?

Today in this post  I am thinking about walking and the many benefits it provides.

Can I still go for a walk outside? This was among the most urgent and common questions asked by men, women and children alike after it all happened, when we had to stay inside, stay home to be safe and keep others safe after the lockdown.   For many walking was a way to do something normal during a time of confusion and upheavel.   We didn't want to lose those walks, the activity we knew intuitively was a relatively easy and convenient way to help us feel better.

Walking as an activity, perhaps even as a means of survival mentally and physically, has never been so vital, so important as it has been during these times of the pandemic.   It can offer a sense of freedom and flow even agency...a kind of "I can do this thing", feeling. 

In his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Csíkszentmihályi outlined his theory that people in a state of flow, if they are intense and absorbed by the activity they are involved in, are happier.  I think in this same way walking can counter feelings of restrictiveness and entrapment and carry us to "the zone"  that place of openness and flow.

  I try to be sure to get several walks in a week  because I find during those walks I feel more energetic and happier and the longer lasting benefit is that in my work after the walks I am more productive and creative.  

The research supports the connection between walking and creativity.  Stanford researchers have found walking boosts creative inspiration. They examined creativity levels of people while they walked versus while they sat and found creative output increased by an average of 60 percent when walking. Creative thinking improves while a person is walking and shortly thereafter (Oppezzo, Schwartz) and creativity levels are consistently and significantly higher for those walking compared to those sitting.  
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                                “methinks that the moment my legs begin to move,
                                         my thoughts begin to flow”
                                    Henry David Thoreau

And if I can still walk, I am not sitting here in it , resistant angry or stuck and powerless....I am going out,  somewhere,  out of it and as long as I know I can go I am not trapped and caught in a thing I have absolutely no control over.  Yes I can walk.  Even now.  Walking is so much more than lacing up the shoes and taking a few steps down the road. If I walk I know  in time we will eventually get there.

On Walking by Thoreau
"We walked in so pure and bright a light,
gilding the withered grass and leaves,
so softly and serenely bright,
I thought I had never bathed in such a golden flood,
without a ripple or a murmur to it.
The west side of every wood and rising ground
gleamed like the boundary of Elysium,
and the sun on our backs seemed like a gentle herdsman driving us home at evening.
So we saunter toward the Holy Land,
till one day
the sun shall shine more brightly than ever he has done,
shall perchance shine into our minds and hearts,
and light up our whole lives with a great awakening light,
as warm and serene and golden as on a bank-side in Autumn.
By Thoreau from the essay WALKING

“Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Everyday, I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill. Thus if one just keeps on walking, everything will be all right.”
Søren Kierkegaard